Karl talks to Patricia Hamzahee about listening as a survival skill, being an ally, paying attention and the difference between equality and equity. (And Patricia has a great story about what happened recently when a Black Lives Matter protester was given the stage at a Make America Great Again rally.)

A no holds-barred and occasionally raucous conversation around one of the trickiest subjects of all: death and dying. Karl and his Mum have always been able to talk openly about most things. But as Jilly gets older they have had up until now only vague conversations about how to deal with the end of her life. Jilly has always insisted she wants to be in control of her own life - and that includes her death. But not only is she frank and incredibly open about choosing how to die, in this hour long episode to mark the beginning of a new season of podcasts, she talks to her eldest son about the deaths of other people that she has found uplifting, important and sometimes deeply traumatic. WARNING: This conversation includes explicit references to sexual abuse, violence as well as tenderness, love and laughter.

For a long time now I've been interested in listening to children. And it seems to me that between the ages of eight, nine and ten there's a kind of special time. Children of this age are conscious of the world, but not too badly spoilt by it. They have something to say, they're prepared to speculate but they'r equally happy to listen to other opinions. The necessity to be right doesn't quite seem to have taken hold yet. I'm looking at this territory in an ongoing way but for now I wanted to share with you a mini edit that I put together as a proposal to BBC Radio 4 - I thought they might be interested in me making a programme that gave just a few young people a voice and offered those of us who are a little older perhaps the opportunity to hear them. The BBC weren't interested. But one day I'm going to make a series of podcasts on it anyway, without having to worry about the squeezing it into anyone else's guidelines. So - here, for now, is an idea of the kind of conversations I'm interested in having with young children.

One of the most extraordinary conversations in the series so far. In the early summer of 2014, a man called Colin called Karl out of the blue to say there was someone he felt might be interesting for him to talk to. A date and time were quickly arranged and soon Karl was travelling up to East Anglia to meet both Colin and Celia in person. Within just a few seconds of the conversation beginning, it becomes clear that Celia's story is a truly extraordinary one. It's a story that contains chapters of almost unbelievable emotional and physical cruelty: a child deprived of some of the most basic things in life and a young woman who finds herself in a relationship that is as cruel and as unloving as you can probably imagine. It's a compelling story. And in some ways, it's a horror story. But finally, it's a story of hope, carried and ultimately transformed by the incredible character of someone who will simply not be beaten down and whose belief and faith in life and love triumphs with an audibly glorious smile - and a big hug. Celia passed away in April 2019 but her capacity to inspire courage and resilience in the face of adversity lives on.

A fascinating, moving and sometimes profane conversation between Karl and the hugely talented Isobel Anderson, singer, song-writer and sound artist. The conversation, with Isobel's music as an underscore, is about tinnitus, pain and the effect these two things have had on Isobel's life and work. It features Isobel's song LIttle Sounds of Pain from her new album In My Garden which you can download from her website isobelanderson.com and is released in conjunction with the British Tinnitus Association who do such great work in helping the millions of people who have to integrate tinnitus into their daily lives.

A challenging but inspiring conversation for anyone who is feeling robust enough to listen to it. At the age of 15, Jane was attacked and raped in her own home. In this edit she talks honestly and graphically to Karl about what happened to her that night, how it affected her as a young woman and how she overcame the incredible ordeal she went through and began to come to terms with it. Please note this is not a conversation for children. Do get in touch with us if you want to know more about The Dialogue Project or go to http://understandingdifference.blogspot.com/ A transcription of this conversation is available on http://yousend.it/why_not_me_part1_transcription

A compelling rendition of a story about forgiveness, empathy and the courage to change. A podcast of Karl's first show for BBC Radio 4, A Different Kind of Justice, produced by Russell Finch for Somethin' Else, first broadcast in January 2013. In the show, Karl reveals the inside story of a Restorative Justice meeting between Ian and Margaret a burglar and his victim, tracing the effects on everyone involved. This show received an enormously positive response after its first broadcast in the UK. For more conversations listen to the podcasts on iTunes or go to Karl's blog http://understandingdifference.blogspot.com/ 

The first unedited 12 minutes of Karl talking to Margaret in preparation for their conversation that was to become part of Karl's first programme for BBC Radio 4, A Different Kind of Justice, first broadcast on January 11th 2013. This is an addendum to the show in order to answer some of the many questions that have been asked as part of the overwhelming response to the programme. With thanks to Russell Finch at Somethin' Else who produced the BBC show. For more conversations listen to the podcasts on iTunes or go to Karl's blog http://understandingdifference.blogspot.com/ 

A conversation conducted In New York between Karl James and Sandra who runs the Village Postal Center in Greenwich Village. Sandra is a positive, energetic woman with a rich, warm gorgeous New York accent that has to be heard to be believed. Over the counter she talks with Karl about life, love and loss and how the way she used to navigate her way through her home town has changed since the Twin Towers were destroyed. For more conversations listen to the podcasts on iTunes or go to Karl's blog http://understandingdifference.blogspot.com/ 

Understanding difference and the art of listening. On March 12th this year, Karl was asked to talk with the writer Roman Krznaric at the Stone Club in London on Listening and Empathy. This is a specially recorded podcast version of that talk, in which Karl talks about terror, possibility and difference. He shares what he calls the four lenses of listening and talks about why listening is the subtlest and sharpest of dialogue skills. For a transcript of this talk see Karl's blog on http://bitly.com/understanding_difference

A unique and uplifting conversation. Jess enjoys a life enriched by a particular form of Tourette's Syndrome. She has an alarm bell. And a serious sense of humour. Her day to day is full of challenges but her attitude is no longer one of being afraid. After a recent furore in the British press Jess has been interviewed by radio stations and newspapers. But in this long form conversation, she pulls no punches and talks frankly and wittily about fear, ambition and her extraordinary project Tourette's Hero.

 

Do get in touch with us if you want to know more about The Dialogue Project or for more conversations go to understandingdifference.blogspot.com

 

You can find out more about Jess, her co-founder Matt and their fabulous project at touretteshero.com

A study of tenderness, Karl talks to Adrian a pain doctor about his approach to the most delicate of doctor patient relationships. He considers the value of silence in his work, the dedication to empathy and the challenges that working with people in pain can present for those who care, professionally and personally. If you feel moved to do so, let us know what you think of the conversation by emailing us at info@thedialogueproject.com You can download a transcript of this conversation at http://yousend.it/you_dont_talk_transcription_new

You don't have to be Stephen Fry to be eloquent. A animated video podcast from a live talk given by Karl James at an event in London called The Story early in 2011. Essentially, the talk was about the role that listening can play in creating, mining or extracting great story telling from people who aren't used to being heard, featuring a number of examples of how articulate people can become when they are truly listened to. Do get in touch with any feedback or thoughts at info@thedialogueproject.com and don't become your story.

An uplifting and fascinating conversation with Anjelo, a gentle joyful man whose life was changed through an extraordinary experience. One minute, he was watching the World Cup on TV. The next moment someone threw a firebomb through his front window and it had landed in his lap. His understanding of pain and his capacity to describe it to Karl intimately and honestly make this a truly compelling listen. His questions are as intruguing as his answers: are emotional pain and physical pain the same thing? How much can we change our perspective of pain with our mind? And what does it mean to be lucky? For more information contact us at info@thedialogueproject.com and to download a transcription of this conversation go to https://bitly.com/when_i_saw_myself_on_fire_transcription

A rare opportunity to hear an astronaut talk poetically and eloquently about what it's like to look down on our planet from space. Jean-Francois Clervoy talks with Karl about the unique perspective that only thousands of miles of distance can give you, the extraordinary power and effects of gravity and the sheer emotion you feel when you turn to look back on where we live and what we are familiar with. Do borders still matter when you look back at the earth from outer space? Is it possible to behave like a child when you're in charge of a spaceship? And what is it that you can only see from space? Download the transcription here: http://yousend.it/tears_gravity_and_distance_transcription  and get in touch with us at info@thedialogueproject.com if you've heard this and what to hear more.

What do you associate with the idea of the stroke of a cane? Pain or pleasure? A compelling short edit of two dialogues with a common thread. Both conversations contain graphic descriptions of the same action but what you hear are two totally different experiences: Nikki's is one of unrelenting pleasure; Stephen's is a much less pleasant and distressing episode. Perception it seems really can be everything. Let us know what your thoughts are on pain by contacting us at info@thedialogueproject.com and download the transcription from http://yousend.it/pain_or_pleasure

An honest, open and frank conversation on sexuality and confidence. Olivia was a great woman to meet. She and I were maybe a little nervous in each other's company at first. And we tackled some fairly juicy subjects that I had decided to ask about that never made it to the edit: female ejaculation, the techniques of clitoral stimulation, radical ideas around sex education. But the edit here is centred on a theme that emerged more naturally between us: the confidence it takes to say what you want and what you need. So this is a frank, tender and personal conversation. When we took this edit to Latitude we had queues of young men keen to listen to this and a lot of young women too. They told me everyone should listen to it, so I decided to share it here. I'm really glad to have met Olivia. She's a great woman. And a beautiful one. As a man, I'm extremely glad to have had the conversation we did. I just wish I'd had it 25 years ago.

An inspiring, tender and open conversation between Karl James and Chris. Taegen was Chris's first daughter. At the age of five she was diagnosed with Lukemia. For 12 months, Chris gave up his work and spent his time day in, day out with Taegen, in and out of hospital, sharing the toughest of times. In this frank and tender conversation Chris talks openly about what he learnt in during that period of time - about his daughter, himself and what's possible betweeen a parent and child. For more conversations go to http://understandingdifference.blogspot.com/

A tender, gentle and explicit dialogue between Karl James and Adrian. At the age of 42, Adrian decided it was about time he had penetrative sex. So he saved up some money and hired a male escort for just one night. What he got was an experience he'll never forget. Adrian is one of the most beautiful men I know. Beautiful in that he has a heart so full of love that sometimes you doubt he's actually a real person. Adrian has a camp, filthy and funny side to him but when that mask drops... it reveals one of the most authentic partners in conversation I've ever experienced. So when I asked him to be on my list of people to talk to, I secretly knew or hoped at least that I would get candour, openness and honesty. And I did. But I got so much more. Adrian 'gave' himself to this conversation. Gently, quietly, tenderly. But fully and without prejudice. Sadly, in February 2014, Adrian took his own life. He is and will continue to be missed by those of us lucky enough to have known him. His presence will not be forgotten by anyone who spent time with him. Twitter: @2plus2makes5

A beautiful conversation on the subject of Listening between Karl James from The Dialogue Project and Stephen. In a small room in a large house in France in May 2002, Karl sat down with Stephen and they talked for about 25 minutes. They were at the end of the second day of the first Round Table run by The Dialogue Project - on the subject of dialogue itself. A theme that had returned again and again to the table was that of listening. So Karl invited Stephen to talk more specifically with him that evening before dinner. The resulting conversation is here, barely edited at all and played a significant role in forming a foundation for much of Karl's work ever since.

A conversation between Karl and Rebecca Meredith who (in partnership with Marlena Valles) took part in a debating competition in which she was verbally abused with a series of sexist and misogynistic comments from a group of young men from Glasgow University Union. This ugly and unprovoked attack was made even more grotesque by the media coverage that followed in its wake. The Daily Mail headline screeched Cambridge Debating Stars Left In Tears By Barrage. At Karl's invitation, Rebecca gives her version of what at times feels like an almost unbelievable series of events in an unedited, frank and open conversation.